Random Thought #8: My Human Doesn't Love Me Anymore, by Moonie the Cat

This is Moonie the cat, and I have taken over my human's computer, because I'm mad at her.

Last night she got out the dreaded cat carrier. Both Carmela and I froze. What was she doing with that thing? It's never good, when she gets that out. Carmela actually ran off. I was about to, but I noticed that she wasn't getting both carriers out. That could be good, for one of us anyway. Maybe she was taking Carmela somewhere, but not me.

But our human just set it on the floor and didn't try to get either one of us. So we sort of forgot about it. Carmela even got in it for a little while.

This morning I was sleeping comfortably on a chair when my human picked me up and plopped me into the carrier. I kept sticking my head out so she couldn't zip it shut, but I never seem to win this battle. She took me for a ride in the car, which I hate. It's not like I'm a dog or something.

Then we stopped and got out. We went into a lady's house, and my human told the lady I needed my claws trimmed, my butt shaved, and a bath! The nerve. I clean myself, and if my human thinks my butt isn't clean enough, that's her problem. As for having my claws trimmed, just wait til they grow back.

So, it was bad enough having my nails trimmed and my butt shaved. Then the lady and my human took me to another room and got me all wet and soapy. "You'll feel better," said my human.

"I felt fine before you got me all wet!" I yowled back, though she doesn't understand cat speak. Why couldn't I have had a bilingual human? I understand what she says, but she doesn't even try to understand my language. At least, she doesn't try hard enough.

So, she made me wait there to dry off for two hours, and then finally brought me back home and let me out of the carrier. Freedom at last!

I will only forgive her if she feeds me really well. Like, if she gives me some chicken from her dinner, or something. Otherwise, forget it.