This is one of a series of mysteries by Hart featuring Jane Lawless, a lesbian amateur sleuth and restaurant owner. I am always looking for good books that feature lesbians as main characters. They can be hard to come by ("good" being the operative word), which is why I particularly love the Jane Lawless series.
In this novel, Jane finds herself facing possible ruin careerwise. At a wedding she has catered, someone spikes the food with hallocenogenic mushrooms. As a result, the groom dives into an empty pool and has to be rushed to the emergency room, where he has surgery for a fractured skull. The bride, Lauren, seems to suffer some sort of emotional breakdown and stops speaking altogether.
Jane enlists the help of her friend Cordelia in clearing her name. Cordelia has some complications in her own life, however. Cordelia's sister, who lives in a distant state, drops by unexpectedly and disappears just as unexpectedly, leaving her 1 1/2 year-old daughter in Cordelia's care. (Cordelia is not the maternal type, by the way).
Jane figures out who must have been responsible for contaminating the food. She confronts this person, but it turns out that someone paid him to do it, and he has no idea why.
Several people might potentially want to hurt Alden, the groom's father. The previous spring, Alden, a high school teacher, had been a hero in a school shooting situation. A troubled teenaged boy held him and a classroom full of kids hostage. Alden managed to calm him down enough to let the kids go, but he was unable to stop the boy, Cullen, from shooting himself. A few days after Alden's son's wedding, a friend of Cullen's accuses Alden of sexually abusing him and Cullen. Cullen's father decides that this is what led to Cullen's suicide. Jane is left to wonder if this is true or if Cullen's friend might have some other reason for wanting to get Alden fired.
Everyone has secrets--Alden, his wife Mary, Lauren, the best man, whom many people think is in love with Lauren, and even Kenzie, the mysterious woman hired to help Alden and Mary take care of Lauren. Jane gets romantically involved with Kenzie, but even Jane wonders who this woman really is and whether or not she can be trusted.
This is a thoroughly engaging read. I read most of it in one sitting. Jane is a great character, so smart and independent, yet vulnerable and genuinely kind. Her friend Cordelia is so entertaining, an outrageous, opinionated theater type who hates getting up before noon. I am eagerly looking forward to the next Jane Lawless novel.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Book Review--The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon
This is definitely one of the more original books I have ever read. It is told from the point of view of a 15-year-old autistic boy (the author used to work with autistic individuals). Christopher is very bright. He is a genius in math (he knows all his prime numbers up to 7057). He has a great memory and knows all of the countries of the world and their capitals. But like other autistic individuals, he cannot understand human emotions and cannot stand to be touched. He hates the color yellow and won't eat yellow food. The sight of a few yellow cars in a row on the street will ruin his whole day.
Christopher is trying to write a book for school. He wants it to be a murder mystery, so he writes about a neighbor's dog he found murdered. His teacher points out that murder mysteries are usually about people who are murdered, but Christopher says he has difficulty imagining things that didn't happen to him (also typical of people with autism) and that some dogs are more interesting and clever than some people (I'm a cat person, but I can see his point). Christopher canvasses the neighborhood, asking neighbors if they saw or heard anything unusual that night. This upsets his father quite a bit, disproportionately it seems, until more information is revealed. In the process of his investigation, Christopher learns quite a bit about his father and his deceased mother, things his father didn't want him to find out. This leads Christopher to go to London by himself (he lives in a small town in England). Traveling by himself is not an easy task for him. In the end, he is quite proud of himself for this and for solving the mystery of who killed the dog.
This is a really fun book to read. It is just so interesting to see how Christopher thinks. He says in the beginning that it will not be a funny book, since he doesn't understand jokes, but he is often unintentionally funny. The author's empathy and ability to tell a story in the first person from an autistic person's point of view is really amazing.
Christopher is trying to write a book for school. He wants it to be a murder mystery, so he writes about a neighbor's dog he found murdered. His teacher points out that murder mysteries are usually about people who are murdered, but Christopher says he has difficulty imagining things that didn't happen to him (also typical of people with autism) and that some dogs are more interesting and clever than some people (I'm a cat person, but I can see his point). Christopher canvasses the neighborhood, asking neighbors if they saw or heard anything unusual that night. This upsets his father quite a bit, disproportionately it seems, until more information is revealed. In the process of his investigation, Christopher learns quite a bit about his father and his deceased mother, things his father didn't want him to find out. This leads Christopher to go to London by himself (he lives in a small town in England). Traveling by himself is not an easy task for him. In the end, he is quite proud of himself for this and for solving the mystery of who killed the dog.
This is a really fun book to read. It is just so interesting to see how Christopher thinks. He says in the beginning that it will not be a funny book, since he doesn't understand jokes, but he is often unintentionally funny. The author's empathy and ability to tell a story in the first person from an autistic person's point of view is really amazing.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Book Review--The Story of My Life: An Afghan Girl on the Other Side of the Sky, by Farah Ahmedi with Tamim Ansary
This is an amazing book. It is the story of an Afghan girl, Farah, who overcame amazing hardships in her life. Born in Kabul in 1987 during the height of the war between the mujahideen and the Soviets, Farah nonetheless describes her early childhood as quite happy. She knew nothing about the war. Sure, rockets landed in distant neighborhoods and there was always the sound of distant gunfire, but everyone was used to that. She did not often leave the family compound on her own, and when she did, she didn't go far, just to relatives' houses if they lived close by, the bakery, or to her father's tailoring shop. She learned little about the city of Kabul itself.
When Farah was six, she started school. School was much less intense in Afghanistan; she started at 8 am and went until 10:30 am, and that included recess. They had no books, and not even enough benches for all the students (about 30 in a classroom). They just had a teacher and a chalkboard. Farah loved school because she learned about the world beyond her own family.
It was her love of school that led her to make a nearly fatal mistake. One morning she overslept, and in her rush to get to school, she took a shortcut and stepped on a landmine.
To get medical care, she had to go to Germany. A German organization came to Kabul every three months or so and took wounded Afghan children back to Germany for medical care. Her family wasn't permitted to come, though, so she had to go to a strange country alone at the age of 7. There one leg was amputated and she got a prosthetic leg. Her other leg was also injured, but it didn't have to be amputated. She did have to have surgery on it due to infection, though, and can no longer bend it at the knee. Her knee was removed, and her thighbone fused to her shinbone. Her injuries had also affected her digestive system, and she was unable to eat solid food for several months. Farah stayed in Germany for two years. She was well enough to go home after a year and a half, but she could not go home. The war in and around Kabul had intensified, and all flights were canceled. She was sent to a youth hostel to live with other children waiting to go home. There she got a sense of what it would be like to live in Germany, how free the women were and how modern the place was. She felt conflicted about returning to Afghanistan. Of course she missed her family terribly and wanted to see them, but she felt that life in Germany was much better.
At age nine, she returned to Afghanistan. The culture shock was hard. For starters, she wanted to wear her German clothes and had actually forgotten some Farsi, since no one spoke it to her in Germany. No one went to school much. When she had been in school before, it was sometimes closed due to a "bad rocket day"; now every day was like that. A few months after Farah had returned home, tragedy struck. Farah's sisters and father were killed when a rocket struck their family compound. Farah had been out shopping with her mother and brothers. It was only a few days later when the Taliban gained control over Kabul.
Farah notes that the Taliban had been "just another army" to them at first. When they gained control, they were just voices on the radio in the beginning, broadcasting their rules, since no one dared to leave their houses. One rule was that women weren't allowed in public without a chadari (what we call a burqa) and a male escort. Many didn't even own burqas anymore. Furthermore, the Taliban hated Farah's ethnic group, the Harzaras. Boys as young as 10 or 11 were being drafted for the Taliban army, but in the case of Farah's brothers, there was a real fear that they might be executed rather than drafted, due to their ethnicity. In the end, fearful for their sons, she and their Hazara neighbors sent their sons off together, to try and escape to Pakistan. They sent them all off together for protection, but they weren't even sure how to get to Pakistan or what the boys would do when they got there. Contact was also difficult. Kabul no longer had phone service, nor did the country have any real mail service anymore. Usually only hand-carried letters got through. Farah never saw or heard from her brothers again.
Several months later, Farah and her mother also escaped. They hadn't gone with her brothers for fear of slowing them down, with Farah's prosthetic leg and her mother's asthma. They managed to get into Pakistan despite difficulties in getting across the border. They stayed with her mother's cousin, but there really wasn't room. They tried to find a room on their own, but since there was no man with them and they had little money, it was difficult. They got evicted from one place and ended up in a refuge camp, where Farah's mother's asthma got worse. So Farah managed to find another place for them to stay, where they could get free room and board in exchange for doing housework for the family. It helped her mother's asthma, but Farah and her mother were treated more or less like slaves. Farah wasn't attending school, and there seemed to be little hope for getting out of their situation.
Then one day, they heard that 1000 Afghan refugees in Pakistan were going to be taken to America (through a private Christian organization called World Relief). Farah was overjoyed and determined to sign up. She had to convince her mother, though. Her mother was convinced that they would be sold into slavery--or worse. She had actually heard that old people in America were sent to the soap factory and made into soap! Farah convinced her that it was like Germany. There were so many other refugees that they had to fight their way to the front; there was no real line. On their third day of waiting, a man came out and said they were taking the wounded and disabled first, and he happened to see Farah. He asked what had happened to her, and she told him about stepping on the land mine as a child. Farah and her mother were allowed inside to apply to go to America.
They had gone through the entire long and arduous process and were set to go to America when September 11 happened. They were then told to forget it, that because of Osama Bin Laden, they might never be able to go to America. But several months later, the program was back on, and they were able to come here. They were placed in Chicago with an American family, because the organization had not been able to arrange housing for them yet. But this news was terrifying to Farah and her mother; they were convinced that their worst fears were coming true and they were going to be slaves. Even the Farsi translator could not convince them that things were going to be okay, that these were good people. It didn't help that the American family with whom they were placed did not speak Farsi. For example, when they showed Farah and her mother the bathroom and kitchen, they assumed the couple was showing them not so they could make themselves comfortable, but because they'd be expected to clean them. They would not eat any food they were offered, figuring that at best it broke the dietary rules of Islam and at worst might be laced with poison. The stress led to a severe asthma attack for Farah's mother. She was rushed to the hospital, where she had to stay for a week. Farah stayed with her and slept on a cot by her mother's bed every night.
Fortunately, World Relief had secured housing for them in that time. They were finally able to relax in their own apartment. Their first few months in America were spent securing refugee status, getting public aid, and so on. Farah started summer ESL classes, which exhausted her--four hours a day of having to concentrate really hard. A couple of volunteers came by to help them with their English, and Farah developed a close relationship with one, a woman named Alyce. Alyce also helped them get some things they needed, like American clothes. It was a relief not to stand out in their Afghan attire.
School has been difficult for Farah, though she has done well. She hadn't really gone to school since stepping on the land mine in the middle of second grade, so she didn't learn to read until coming to America, where she learned how to read and write in English. She basically skipped grades 2-8. Farah wants to go to college, though she is still deciding what she wants to study. She also hopes to see Afghanistan again to help people over there. She considers herself both Afghan and American. Her mother has had a harder time adjusting, but she has been doing better, too. She is taking an English class and socializing with some other Afghan women in her neighborhood. Finally, her mother has told Farah she is glad that Farah brought her to America.
One thing that made me sad is that Farah mentioned that she has no American friends her own age. Most of her classes are non-ESL classes now, but the other kids, though friendly enough, haven't really reached out to form friendships. She says she understands it is hard for the American kids to reach out, but it's harder for refugee kids, who are often ashamed of their poverty and relatively poor English skills and just generally being out of place. She wishes more American kids would take the first step in starting friendships. Maybe things will be better for her in college, where people are more open about making new friends.
This book was so inspiring to read. It was certainly one of the most interesting books I have read in awhile, since her experiences are obviously so different from mine, and my knowledge of Afghanistan was (and still is) quite limited. And Farah and her mother have overcome so much. It puts my relatively mundane concerns into perspective, that's for sure. It's something I think everyone should read, both for the learning experience and the inspirational message.
When Farah was six, she started school. School was much less intense in Afghanistan; she started at 8 am and went until 10:30 am, and that included recess. They had no books, and not even enough benches for all the students (about 30 in a classroom). They just had a teacher and a chalkboard. Farah loved school because she learned about the world beyond her own family.
It was her love of school that led her to make a nearly fatal mistake. One morning she overslept, and in her rush to get to school, she took a shortcut and stepped on a landmine.
To get medical care, she had to go to Germany. A German organization came to Kabul every three months or so and took wounded Afghan children back to Germany for medical care. Her family wasn't permitted to come, though, so she had to go to a strange country alone at the age of 7. There one leg was amputated and she got a prosthetic leg. Her other leg was also injured, but it didn't have to be amputated. She did have to have surgery on it due to infection, though, and can no longer bend it at the knee. Her knee was removed, and her thighbone fused to her shinbone. Her injuries had also affected her digestive system, and she was unable to eat solid food for several months. Farah stayed in Germany for two years. She was well enough to go home after a year and a half, but she could not go home. The war in and around Kabul had intensified, and all flights were canceled. She was sent to a youth hostel to live with other children waiting to go home. There she got a sense of what it would be like to live in Germany, how free the women were and how modern the place was. She felt conflicted about returning to Afghanistan. Of course she missed her family terribly and wanted to see them, but she felt that life in Germany was much better.
At age nine, she returned to Afghanistan. The culture shock was hard. For starters, she wanted to wear her German clothes and had actually forgotten some Farsi, since no one spoke it to her in Germany. No one went to school much. When she had been in school before, it was sometimes closed due to a "bad rocket day"; now every day was like that. A few months after Farah had returned home, tragedy struck. Farah's sisters and father were killed when a rocket struck their family compound. Farah had been out shopping with her mother and brothers. It was only a few days later when the Taliban gained control over Kabul.
Farah notes that the Taliban had been "just another army" to them at first. When they gained control, they were just voices on the radio in the beginning, broadcasting their rules, since no one dared to leave their houses. One rule was that women weren't allowed in public without a chadari (what we call a burqa) and a male escort. Many didn't even own burqas anymore. Furthermore, the Taliban hated Farah's ethnic group, the Harzaras. Boys as young as 10 or 11 were being drafted for the Taliban army, but in the case of Farah's brothers, there was a real fear that they might be executed rather than drafted, due to their ethnicity. In the end, fearful for their sons, she and their Hazara neighbors sent their sons off together, to try and escape to Pakistan. They sent them all off together for protection, but they weren't even sure how to get to Pakistan or what the boys would do when they got there. Contact was also difficult. Kabul no longer had phone service, nor did the country have any real mail service anymore. Usually only hand-carried letters got through. Farah never saw or heard from her brothers again.
Several months later, Farah and her mother also escaped. They hadn't gone with her brothers for fear of slowing them down, with Farah's prosthetic leg and her mother's asthma. They managed to get into Pakistan despite difficulties in getting across the border. They stayed with her mother's cousin, but there really wasn't room. They tried to find a room on their own, but since there was no man with them and they had little money, it was difficult. They got evicted from one place and ended up in a refuge camp, where Farah's mother's asthma got worse. So Farah managed to find another place for them to stay, where they could get free room and board in exchange for doing housework for the family. It helped her mother's asthma, but Farah and her mother were treated more or less like slaves. Farah wasn't attending school, and there seemed to be little hope for getting out of their situation.
Then one day, they heard that 1000 Afghan refugees in Pakistan were going to be taken to America (through a private Christian organization called World Relief). Farah was overjoyed and determined to sign up. She had to convince her mother, though. Her mother was convinced that they would be sold into slavery--or worse. She had actually heard that old people in America were sent to the soap factory and made into soap! Farah convinced her that it was like Germany. There were so many other refugees that they had to fight their way to the front; there was no real line. On their third day of waiting, a man came out and said they were taking the wounded and disabled first, and he happened to see Farah. He asked what had happened to her, and she told him about stepping on the land mine as a child. Farah and her mother were allowed inside to apply to go to America.
They had gone through the entire long and arduous process and were set to go to America when September 11 happened. They were then told to forget it, that because of Osama Bin Laden, they might never be able to go to America. But several months later, the program was back on, and they were able to come here. They were placed in Chicago with an American family, because the organization had not been able to arrange housing for them yet. But this news was terrifying to Farah and her mother; they were convinced that their worst fears were coming true and they were going to be slaves. Even the Farsi translator could not convince them that things were going to be okay, that these were good people. It didn't help that the American family with whom they were placed did not speak Farsi. For example, when they showed Farah and her mother the bathroom and kitchen, they assumed the couple was showing them not so they could make themselves comfortable, but because they'd be expected to clean them. They would not eat any food they were offered, figuring that at best it broke the dietary rules of Islam and at worst might be laced with poison. The stress led to a severe asthma attack for Farah's mother. She was rushed to the hospital, where she had to stay for a week. Farah stayed with her and slept on a cot by her mother's bed every night.
Fortunately, World Relief had secured housing for them in that time. They were finally able to relax in their own apartment. Their first few months in America were spent securing refugee status, getting public aid, and so on. Farah started summer ESL classes, which exhausted her--four hours a day of having to concentrate really hard. A couple of volunteers came by to help them with their English, and Farah developed a close relationship with one, a woman named Alyce. Alyce also helped them get some things they needed, like American clothes. It was a relief not to stand out in their Afghan attire.
School has been difficult for Farah, though she has done well. She hadn't really gone to school since stepping on the land mine in the middle of second grade, so she didn't learn to read until coming to America, where she learned how to read and write in English. She basically skipped grades 2-8. Farah wants to go to college, though she is still deciding what she wants to study. She also hopes to see Afghanistan again to help people over there. She considers herself both Afghan and American. Her mother has had a harder time adjusting, but she has been doing better, too. She is taking an English class and socializing with some other Afghan women in her neighborhood. Finally, her mother has told Farah she is glad that Farah brought her to America.
One thing that made me sad is that Farah mentioned that she has no American friends her own age. Most of her classes are non-ESL classes now, but the other kids, though friendly enough, haven't really reached out to form friendships. She says she understands it is hard for the American kids to reach out, but it's harder for refugee kids, who are often ashamed of their poverty and relatively poor English skills and just generally being out of place. She wishes more American kids would take the first step in starting friendships. Maybe things will be better for her in college, where people are more open about making new friends.
This book was so inspiring to read. It was certainly one of the most interesting books I have read in awhile, since her experiences are obviously so different from mine, and my knowledge of Afghanistan was (and still is) quite limited. And Farah and her mother have overcome so much. It puts my relatively mundane concerns into perspective, that's for sure. It's something I think everyone should read, both for the learning experience and the inspirational message.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Movie Review--Wedding Crashers
Not a highly intellectual film, but extremely funny. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn star as divorce mediators who crash weddings to meet women for one-night stands. Then they attend the wedding for a prominent politician's daughter, and Wilson falls for the sister of the bride (Rachel McAdams). Vaughn is pursued by the bride's other sister, who is somewhat of a stalker type. The men get invited to the family's waterfront estate. Vaughn reluctantly agrees to accompany Wilson to the estate, even though he would like nothing better than to escape. Bad things happen to Vaughn (he gets mauled in a family football game and gets shot in the butt, for starters) while Wilson tries to woo McAdams away from her boyfriend.
A sidenote: my friends and I apparently weren't in an audience of Queer as Folk viewers. There were a couple of mildly homoerotic moments that seemed to shock this particular crowd, as evidenced by a collective intake of breath. We thought they should get over it already, but that's the Tri-Cities for you. It's not Seattle, that's for sure.
Anyway, it's not a movie for deep insights, but it's great for laughs.
A sidenote: my friends and I apparently weren't in an audience of Queer as Folk viewers. There were a couple of mildly homoerotic moments that seemed to shock this particular crowd, as evidenced by a collective intake of breath. We thought they should get over it already, but that's the Tri-Cities for you. It's not Seattle, that's for sure.
Anyway, it's not a movie for deep insights, but it's great for laughs.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Book Review--High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby
This book offers a male perspective on relationships that I haven't seen too often. The protagonist is a 35-year-old man named Rob. He owns a record shop and has recently been dumped by his girlfriend, Laura. This leads him to reflect on other breakups in his life. The first part of the book details his "top five" breakups. (Rob loves "top five" lists; he and his coworkers come up with them all the time, i.e., top five Cheers epsiodes, etc.). His latest breakup isn't in the top five, but he has a lot of difficulty dealing with it nonetheless. It doesn't help that his record shop isn't doing so well. He mostly deals with vintage-type music that is actually on vinyl, and it seems rather symbolic of his difficulty in moving on with his life.
It also doesn't help that Laura is involved with someone else. Rob actually gets obsessed about it, calling Laura at all hours and generally exhibiting some stalker-type behavior. He does get involved with someone else, an American recording artist, for awhile, but the involvement is pretty much on a superficial level. He also looks up his old girlfriends from his "Top Five" breakup list. It is interesting to see how their memories of the relationship (or in some cases lack of memories) differ from his.
Laura doesn't exit his life forever, though. Her father's death acts as a catalyst for Rob to examine some of his underlying fears which are impeding his ability to move forward and make some commitments in his life.
Rob's lamentations get a little old at times, and I actually thought the book was a little depressing. However, the ending was quite uplifting, and a lot of people, male or female, can relate to what he has to say about relationships.
It also doesn't help that Laura is involved with someone else. Rob actually gets obsessed about it, calling Laura at all hours and generally exhibiting some stalker-type behavior. He does get involved with someone else, an American recording artist, for awhile, but the involvement is pretty much on a superficial level. He also looks up his old girlfriends from his "Top Five" breakup list. It is interesting to see how their memories of the relationship (or in some cases lack of memories) differ from his.
Laura doesn't exit his life forever, though. Her father's death acts as a catalyst for Rob to examine some of his underlying fears which are impeding his ability to move forward and make some commitments in his life.
Rob's lamentations get a little old at times, and I actually thought the book was a little depressing. However, the ending was quite uplifting, and a lot of people, male or female, can relate to what he has to say about relationships.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Book Review--Divine Evil, by Nora Roberts
I hate it when I do this. I get into a book that I just can't put down. I stay up late reading, I finish it quickly and then there's this big letdown, because I no longer have this great book to read.
That was how it was for me with Divine Evil. It's about a successful New York artist, Clare, who decides she needs to return to her hometown, her roots, to work out some emotional issues. Clare is haunted by her father's suicide when she was only fifteen, as well as nightmares dating back to her childhood.
So Clare moves back to Emmitsboro, Maryland, and into her childhood home. Her mother has remarried and lives elsewhere. In Emmitboro, Clare reconnects with a man from her past, Cameron Rafferty. She and Cameron had had a mutual attraction from afar when they were teenagers, and now they become seriously involved. Clare also starts doing some of her best sculpting now that she has moved back to Emmitsboro.
However, Clare's most amazing work is fueled by her nightmares, nightmares which developed when she witnessed her father taking part in a satanic ritual. Clare had convinced herself that the whole thing was a dream and had never happened, but in reality, her nightmares are based on her memory of that event. The cult is still present in Emmitsboro, and more violent than ever. Furthermore, some of its members are concerned about what Clare might have witnessed on that night so long ago.
Like I said, I couldn't put the book down. I finally had to force myself to do so at about 3 am, even though I wasn't finished. The book also has a surprise twist at the end, one which I did not anticipate at all. All in all, great reading.
That was how it was for me with Divine Evil. It's about a successful New York artist, Clare, who decides she needs to return to her hometown, her roots, to work out some emotional issues. Clare is haunted by her father's suicide when she was only fifteen, as well as nightmares dating back to her childhood.
So Clare moves back to Emmitsboro, Maryland, and into her childhood home. Her mother has remarried and lives elsewhere. In Emmitboro, Clare reconnects with a man from her past, Cameron Rafferty. She and Cameron had had a mutual attraction from afar when they were teenagers, and now they become seriously involved. Clare also starts doing some of her best sculpting now that she has moved back to Emmitsboro.
However, Clare's most amazing work is fueled by her nightmares, nightmares which developed when she witnessed her father taking part in a satanic ritual. Clare had convinced herself that the whole thing was a dream and had never happened, but in reality, her nightmares are based on her memory of that event. The cult is still present in Emmitsboro, and more violent than ever. Furthermore, some of its members are concerned about what Clare might have witnessed on that night so long ago.
Like I said, I couldn't put the book down. I finally had to force myself to do so at about 3 am, even though I wasn't finished. The book also has a surprise twist at the end, one which I did not anticipate at all. All in all, great reading.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Book Review--A Long Way Down, by Nick Hornby
Imagine feeling a despair so deep that you decide to end it all. You pick New Year's Eve as the time to do it, because you cannot face another year. You go to the top of a building, intending to jump off, only to discover that there is more a less a line of people wanting to do the same thing.
This is the premise of Nick Hornby's fourth novel. Four people--Jess, Martin, Maureen, and JJ-- meet each other at the top of a London building, all intending to jump. Jess is a teenaged girl whose life hasn't been the same since her older sister disappeared, though her current angst is due to a guy. Jess's object of her affection is scared to death of Jess's obsessive behavior. Martin is a former TV talk-show host who recently served time in prison due to sexual relations with a minor. He lost his job, his wife, and his children due to the affair. Maureen is the mother of a severly disabled young man. She spends all her time caring for him and has no life of her own. JJ is an American (the other three are British) who was starting to find some success in the music business until he band broke up. His girlfriend also broke up with him at around the same time. With no music, no girlfriend, and no other skills, not even a high school diploma, life looks pretty grim to JJ.
Maureen and Martin actually prevent Jess from jumping, and JJ shows up asking if anyone ordered a pizza. Of course, no one had, but they eat the pizza and start talking. Finally, Jess convinces them to help her find Chas, the object of her obsession. The long night ends with a promise, though reluctantly extracted from some, to wait six weeks before attempting suicide again and to look out for each other. The four also decide to meet regularly.
The story is told in the first person, alternating between the four characters. The four are very different from each other, making it difficult for them to get along and look out for each other. To me, the most intriguing character in a way is Jess. Of the four, she is the one with the least amount of tact. She can actually be quite mean at times, and could use some help in the social skills department. But she is always the one saying they should look out for each other and coming up with ideas to help one of the others.
I guess the main message I got from this book was that sometimes it doesn't take much to help someone, even if they are in deep despair. I don't mean to sound flippant at all, but sometimes seemingly little changes in one's life can cause one to feel much better about things. Maybe that's the key--"seemingly little." A change in circumtances that seems minor to me might make a big difference to someone else.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Book Review--About a Boy, by Nick Hornby
I saw the movie About a Boy when it was in theaters, which got me interested in reading the book. Basically, it's about two people who need to be brought out of their isolation. Marcus is a 12-year-old boy who lives with his seriously depressed mother. Will is a 36-year-old man who lives alone. He has no job, as he lives off the royalties for a song his father wrote years ago. His connections to other people are mostly superficial--friends to hang out with, but not confidants. His family members are either deceased or not close to him.
Will hits upon what he sees as a great way to meet women after dating a single mother. Single mothers, he decides, having a harder time meeting men, would be more willing and enthusiastic about dating him. So he creates a fictional son , a 2-year-old named Ned, and joins a group for single parents. There he meets Suzy, who interests him immediately, and her friend Fiona, who is Marcus' mother.
Will meets Marcus at a group gathering. Suzy had brought Marcus along with her since Marcus' mother wasn't feeling well. Needing to explain why he hadn't brought his son with him to the gathering, Will made the excuse that his fictional ex deciding she needed to take their son with her at the last minute. When they take Marcus home, they discover his mother, passed out after taking too many pills.
Marcus' mother survives the suicide attempt, but the experience leads Marcus to decide that they needed more people around them. If he lost his mother, who would he have? He starts coming over to Will's apartment (uninvited) and gets Will and Fiona to go out on a date together. Will and Fiona were totally unsuited to each other, but Marcus kept coming to see Will. At first Will doesn't especially appreciate this, but Marcus grows on him, little by little. And both of them change as a result of their relationship. Marcus learns how to be a kid, and Will learns how to be an adult.
The characters are great. Will is amazingly superficial and self-absorbed at first, to the point where it's almost comical. He doesn't like kids (he just wants to date their mothers) and avoids messy emotional entanglements, and then manages to step right into just the type of thing he tries to avoid. Marcus is a classic nerd; he doesn't fit in at school, wears the "wrong" kind of clothes, listens to the "wrong" kind of music, and is teased and bullied by the kids at school. He is very intelligent and astute, however.
The theme of the book seems to be the importance of relationships--real relationships as opposed to superficial connections--in our lives. I don't mean to oversimplify, but I think it's something that people take for granted at times, especially when those close to us are annoying the hell out of us. It's a book that will get you thinking about yourself and your connections with other people.
Will hits upon what he sees as a great way to meet women after dating a single mother. Single mothers, he decides, having a harder time meeting men, would be more willing and enthusiastic about dating him. So he creates a fictional son , a 2-year-old named Ned, and joins a group for single parents. There he meets Suzy, who interests him immediately, and her friend Fiona, who is Marcus' mother.
Will meets Marcus at a group gathering. Suzy had brought Marcus along with her since Marcus' mother wasn't feeling well. Needing to explain why he hadn't brought his son with him to the gathering, Will made the excuse that his fictional ex deciding she needed to take their son with her at the last minute. When they take Marcus home, they discover his mother, passed out after taking too many pills.
Marcus' mother survives the suicide attempt, but the experience leads Marcus to decide that they needed more people around them. If he lost his mother, who would he have? He starts coming over to Will's apartment (uninvited) and gets Will and Fiona to go out on a date together. Will and Fiona were totally unsuited to each other, but Marcus kept coming to see Will. At first Will doesn't especially appreciate this, but Marcus grows on him, little by little. And both of them change as a result of their relationship. Marcus learns how to be a kid, and Will learns how to be an adult.
The characters are great. Will is amazingly superficial and self-absorbed at first, to the point where it's almost comical. He doesn't like kids (he just wants to date their mothers) and avoids messy emotional entanglements, and then manages to step right into just the type of thing he tries to avoid. Marcus is a classic nerd; he doesn't fit in at school, wears the "wrong" kind of clothes, listens to the "wrong" kind of music, and is teased and bullied by the kids at school. He is very intelligent and astute, however.
The theme of the book seems to be the importance of relationships--real relationships as opposed to superficial connections--in our lives. I don't mean to oversimplify, but I think it's something that people take for granted at times, especially when those close to us are annoying the hell out of us. It's a book that will get you thinking about yourself and your connections with other people.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Book Review--Beautiful Child, by Torey Hayden
Another great book by Torey Hayden. Published in 2002, Beautiful Child is a chronicle of more of Torey Hayden's experiences teaching children with special needs. At the center of this story is Venus, an extremely unresponsive 7-year-old child. Venus never spoke or seemed to listen to others. Torey intially thought she might be deaf. However, lack of hearing was not the issue. Though usually unresponsive to others, an accidental bump was capable of sending her into a screaming rage.
Venus's family life was very far from ideal, as her file and home visits confirmed. Her mother, who had a history of prostitution and drug abuse, had nine children, Venus being the youngest. One of the elder children, Wanda, aged 19 or 20 and mentally retarded, frequently brought Venus to school and seemed to take a great deal of responsiblility for her, though her cognitive deficits made that a serious challenge. The nine children had three different fathers, the first of whom had died in prison. Venus's mother gave birth to a stillborn baby after the second man beat her severely. This man had also been convicted of child abuse and charged with animal cruelty. Venus's father, the third man, also had a string of convictions. His were for burglary, drug charges, and most disturbingly, pedophile activity. Though out of prison at the time, he was banned from having contact with the kids. Venus's mother had a new live-in boyfriend, who was pretty much like the others before him.
In the beginning, four other students shared the classroom with Venus--Shane and Zane, twins with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome; Billy, an angry, aggressive boy; and Jesse, who had Tourette's Syndrome. Later, Gwen, a girl with High-Functioning Autism, joined the class for just the afternoon. The mix of students was so volatile that at first Torey needed to seat them each at their own table and had them remove their shoes upon entering the classroom. Fights broke out every day. Torey had an aide to help her, but their very different approaches turned into another source of friction.
It is fascinating to see how Torey gets the group to get along and make some impressive strides academically. Even more fascinating, she manages to engage Venus and get her to start making some academic progress.
Progress was extremely slow with Venus. It was hampered by her horrific home life and poor attendance. In addition, she spent some time on homebound due to violent behavior on the playground. Furthermore, Torey's principal and her aide objected to some of her methods in engaging Venus, criticizing her choice of materials and their educational value. I could see their point in this, but what Torey did with Venus really worked, in that she was able to develop a relationship with Venus, who then started finally being able to complete some academic work and make some progress.
I always feel hopeful after reading one of Torey Hayden's books. Though many of the kids come from awful situations, their ability to overcome the severe obstacles in their lives and Torey's dedication and commitment in helping them gives me great hope for the future.
Venus's family life was very far from ideal, as her file and home visits confirmed. Her mother, who had a history of prostitution and drug abuse, had nine children, Venus being the youngest. One of the elder children, Wanda, aged 19 or 20 and mentally retarded, frequently brought Venus to school and seemed to take a great deal of responsiblility for her, though her cognitive deficits made that a serious challenge. The nine children had three different fathers, the first of whom had died in prison. Venus's mother gave birth to a stillborn baby after the second man beat her severely. This man had also been convicted of child abuse and charged with animal cruelty. Venus's father, the third man, also had a string of convictions. His were for burglary, drug charges, and most disturbingly, pedophile activity. Though out of prison at the time, he was banned from having contact with the kids. Venus's mother had a new live-in boyfriend, who was pretty much like the others before him.
In the beginning, four other students shared the classroom with Venus--Shane and Zane, twins with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome; Billy, an angry, aggressive boy; and Jesse, who had Tourette's Syndrome. Later, Gwen, a girl with High-Functioning Autism, joined the class for just the afternoon. The mix of students was so volatile that at first Torey needed to seat them each at their own table and had them remove their shoes upon entering the classroom. Fights broke out every day. Torey had an aide to help her, but their very different approaches turned into another source of friction.
It is fascinating to see how Torey gets the group to get along and make some impressive strides academically. Even more fascinating, she manages to engage Venus and get her to start making some academic progress.
Progress was extremely slow with Venus. It was hampered by her horrific home life and poor attendance. In addition, she spent some time on homebound due to violent behavior on the playground. Furthermore, Torey's principal and her aide objected to some of her methods in engaging Venus, criticizing her choice of materials and their educational value. I could see their point in this, but what Torey did with Venus really worked, in that she was able to develop a relationship with Venus, who then started finally being able to complete some academic work and make some progress.
I always feel hopeful after reading one of Torey Hayden's books. Though many of the kids come from awful situations, their ability to overcome the severe obstacles in their lives and Torey's dedication and commitment in helping them gives me great hope for the future.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Book Review--No Place Like Home, by Mary Higgins Clark
Mary Higgins Clark is one of my favorite authors, ever since I read her first book, Where Are the Children? when I was maybe 12 or 13. Her latest book, No Place Like Home, is one of the best, in my opinion.
At age 10, Liza Barton accidentally shot and killed her mother, in an attempt to protect her from her estranged stepfather, whom she also wounded. Her stepfather, Ted Cartwright, claimed she had done so deliberately and that she had intended to kill him as well. The shooting was ruled an accident, but many people believed Ted's version of events, and his claims that he and Liza's mother had broken up because of Liza's animosity toward him. They dubbed her "Little Lizzie" after the infamous Lizzie Borden.
Liza was adopted by distant relatives, who changed her name and moved her to California. She lived there until she attended design school back East. At age 28 she married a childless, 60-year-old widower, and they had a son. On his deathbed, her husband begged her not to tell anyone her true identity, for fear their son would be stigmatized. Liza, now called Celia, agrees to keep her secret.
Two years later, her son now four, Celia is happily remarried to a lawyer, Alex Nolan, who knows nothing about her past. On her 34th birthday, Alex, surprises her with a new house--which, unbelievably, is the house in which she shot and killed her mother and wounded her stepfather. (This is perhaps a little too coincidental to be believable, in my opinion, but that's the only negative thing I can think of to say about this book.)
Celia's unhappiness is apparent when she sees the house, but remembering her promise to her first husband, she feels she cannot tell her new husband the real reason she does not want to live there. So they move in and she tries to make the best of it, but the troubles start immediately. The house is vandalized. Celia receives prank calls. Her son hears about "Little Lizzie" in school. And then Georgette Grove, the real estate agent who sold them the house, is murdered. Celia discovers the body and becomes a suspect in her murder. Celia fights to prove her innocence in that murder, as well as uncover more about the past in an attempt to clear her name, so that she can finally tell her husband the truth about her identity. However, more murders follow, and Celia and her son are also in danger.
I did have a hunch regarding who might be behind her current troubles, and it turned out that the hunch was correct, at least regarding one of the culprits. Mary Higgins Clark always manages to throw in several unanticipated twists and turns, however, and the truth is generally rather complicated.
As with all her books, I did not want to put this one down. Known as America's Queen of Suspense, Mary Higgins Clark is one of the best in the genre. I always feel rather low once I've finished reading one of her books, though, because I know I'll have to wait a year before a new one is out.
At age 10, Liza Barton accidentally shot and killed her mother, in an attempt to protect her from her estranged stepfather, whom she also wounded. Her stepfather, Ted Cartwright, claimed she had done so deliberately and that she had intended to kill him as well. The shooting was ruled an accident, but many people believed Ted's version of events, and his claims that he and Liza's mother had broken up because of Liza's animosity toward him. They dubbed her "Little Lizzie" after the infamous Lizzie Borden.
Liza was adopted by distant relatives, who changed her name and moved her to California. She lived there until she attended design school back East. At age 28 she married a childless, 60-year-old widower, and they had a son. On his deathbed, her husband begged her not to tell anyone her true identity, for fear their son would be stigmatized. Liza, now called Celia, agrees to keep her secret.
Two years later, her son now four, Celia is happily remarried to a lawyer, Alex Nolan, who knows nothing about her past. On her 34th birthday, Alex, surprises her with a new house--which, unbelievably, is the house in which she shot and killed her mother and wounded her stepfather. (This is perhaps a little too coincidental to be believable, in my opinion, but that's the only negative thing I can think of to say about this book.)
Celia's unhappiness is apparent when she sees the house, but remembering her promise to her first husband, she feels she cannot tell her new husband the real reason she does not want to live there. So they move in and she tries to make the best of it, but the troubles start immediately. The house is vandalized. Celia receives prank calls. Her son hears about "Little Lizzie" in school. And then Georgette Grove, the real estate agent who sold them the house, is murdered. Celia discovers the body and becomes a suspect in her murder. Celia fights to prove her innocence in that murder, as well as uncover more about the past in an attempt to clear her name, so that she can finally tell her husband the truth about her identity. However, more murders follow, and Celia and her son are also in danger.
I did have a hunch regarding who might be behind her current troubles, and it turned out that the hunch was correct, at least regarding one of the culprits. Mary Higgins Clark always manages to throw in several unanticipated twists and turns, however, and the truth is generally rather complicated.
As with all her books, I did not want to put this one down. Known as America's Queen of Suspense, Mary Higgins Clark is one of the best in the genre. I always feel rather low once I've finished reading one of her books, though, because I know I'll have to wait a year before a new one is out.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Book Review--Maggie Without a Clue, by Kasie Michaels
This book came out in 2004, and it is actually the third book in a series. So, I am reading out of order here. The premise is rather bizarre. The main character, Maggie, is a writer of regency-era mystery novels. Two of her characters, Alex (the Viscount St. Just) and his sidekick, Sterling, have come to life. They help Maggie solve real-life mysteries.
In this case, they are trying to help Maggie's friend and publisher, Bernie Toland-James. Bernie's second husband has been missing for nearly seven years. He is about to be declared dead, after which Bernie can collect on his life insurance policy. But then one morning, Bernie wakes up next to her estranged husband's bloody corpse, with no memory of what had happened. Of course, she is the primary suspect in what looks like an open and shut case. Maggie and her book characters try to help her prove her innocence.
Meanwhile, they have other problems. Alex and Sterling are staying in the apartment across the hall from Maggie's, while that tenant, Mrs. Goldblum, visits her sister. There Sterling gets a strange visit from two large, threatening men who are very unhappy when they learn Mrs. Goldblum isn't there. They want something that is in her possession, but Sterling has no idea what. Things get worse from there. The apartment is vandalized and then Sterling is kidnapped.
Anyway, like I mentioned, the characters coming to life and all that is a little bizarre. However, the book is fun, light reading.
In this case, they are trying to help Maggie's friend and publisher, Bernie Toland-James. Bernie's second husband has been missing for nearly seven years. He is about to be declared dead, after which Bernie can collect on his life insurance policy. But then one morning, Bernie wakes up next to her estranged husband's bloody corpse, with no memory of what had happened. Of course, she is the primary suspect in what looks like an open and shut case. Maggie and her book characters try to help her prove her innocence.
Meanwhile, they have other problems. Alex and Sterling are staying in the apartment across the hall from Maggie's, while that tenant, Mrs. Goldblum, visits her sister. There Sterling gets a strange visit from two large, threatening men who are very unhappy when they learn Mrs. Goldblum isn't there. They want something that is in her possession, but Sterling has no idea what. Things get worse from there. The apartment is vandalized and then Sterling is kidnapped.
Anyway, like I mentioned, the characters coming to life and all that is a little bizarre. However, the book is fun, light reading.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Random Thought #8: My Human Doesn't Love Me Anymore, by Moonie the Cat
This is Moonie the cat, and I have taken over my human's computer, because I'm mad at her.
Last night she got out the dreaded cat carrier. Both Carmela and I froze. What was she doing with that thing? It's never good, when she gets that out. Carmela actually ran off. I was about to, but I noticed that she wasn't getting both carriers out. That could be good, for one of us anyway. Maybe she was taking Carmela somewhere, but not me.
But our human just set it on the floor and didn't try to get either one of us. So we sort of forgot about it. Carmela even got in it for a little while.
This morning I was sleeping comfortably on a chair when my human picked me up and plopped me into the carrier. I kept sticking my head out so she couldn't zip it shut, but I never seem to win this battle. She took me for a ride in the car, which I hate. It's not like I'm a dog or something.
Then we stopped and got out. We went into a lady's house, and my human told the lady I needed my claws trimmed, my butt shaved, and a bath! The nerve. I clean myself, and if my human thinks my butt isn't clean enough, that's her problem. As for having my claws trimmed, just wait til they grow back.
So, it was bad enough having my nails trimmed and my butt shaved. Then the lady and my human took me to another room and got me all wet and soapy. "You'll feel better," said my human.
"I felt fine before you got me all wet!" I yowled back, though she doesn't understand cat speak. Why couldn't I have had a bilingual human? I understand what she says, but she doesn't even try to understand my language. At least, she doesn't try hard enough.
So, she made me wait there to dry off for two hours, and then finally brought me back home and let me out of the carrier. Freedom at last!
I will only forgive her if she feeds me really well. Like, if she gives me some chicken from her dinner, or something. Otherwise, forget it.
Last night she got out the dreaded cat carrier. Both Carmela and I froze. What was she doing with that thing? It's never good, when she gets that out. Carmela actually ran off. I was about to, but I noticed that she wasn't getting both carriers out. That could be good, for one of us anyway. Maybe she was taking Carmela somewhere, but not me.
But our human just set it on the floor and didn't try to get either one of us. So we sort of forgot about it. Carmela even got in it for a little while.
This morning I was sleeping comfortably on a chair when my human picked me up and plopped me into the carrier. I kept sticking my head out so she couldn't zip it shut, but I never seem to win this battle. She took me for a ride in the car, which I hate. It's not like I'm a dog or something.
Then we stopped and got out. We went into a lady's house, and my human told the lady I needed my claws trimmed, my butt shaved, and a bath! The nerve. I clean myself, and if my human thinks my butt isn't clean enough, that's her problem. As for having my claws trimmed, just wait til they grow back.
So, it was bad enough having my nails trimmed and my butt shaved. Then the lady and my human took me to another room and got me all wet and soapy. "You'll feel better," said my human.
"I felt fine before you got me all wet!" I yowled back, though she doesn't understand cat speak. Why couldn't I have had a bilingual human? I understand what she says, but she doesn't even try to understand my language. At least, she doesn't try hard enough.
So, she made me wait there to dry off for two hours, and then finally brought me back home and let me out of the carrier. Freedom at last!
I will only forgive her if she feeds me really well. Like, if she gives me some chicken from her dinner, or something. Otherwise, forget it.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Random Thought #7: I Am So Out Of Shape
In the summertime I like to swim. I usually swim a half-mile a day, once I've worked up to it. I have been patiently waiting for the pool to open in my apartment complex. Usually it's been open for awhile by this time, but this year it needs some work done. For some reason they have had an incredibly difficult time getting someone to come and do it. So I decided to go to one of the public pools during their adult lap swim.
Boy, that public pool is long. That combined with the fact that I haven't swum in awhile made me feel like I might drown halfway through a lap.
The thing about the pool at my apartment complex is that it's good for one's self-esteem. It's not a very big pool, so I can do many laps without expending too much effort. I know that in a pool 25 yards long, 35 laps is a half-mile. I know that it takes me about 35 minutes to do 35 laps in such a pool. I can do about 63 laps in 35 minutes in my apartment complex pool, which sounds quite impressive.
It took me 20 minutes to do 12 laps in the public pool.
This is quite embarrassing, so I decided to deal with that by writing about it on the internet. In fairness, I'm not sure how long the public pool is. It's really, really, long though, honest!
I don't have any books on swimming specifically, but one of my favorite books on health in general is Eat, Drink, and be Merry by Dean Edell, MD (1999). It's about how Americans are in the best health and have the longest life spans in history, yet we worry more about our health than ever before. He wrote the book to try to quell some of our health-related anxieties. He discusses the media bias toward scare stories and how that makes us think that things are worse than they are regarding health threats. He says that perfect nutrition may not exist and in general, rather than "dieting," eat what you want, just eat less of it, vary your diet as much as possible, and add some vegetables. He also discussed some of the myths regarding exercise and notes that you can accrue most of the health benefits by only doing a moderate amount. (He also points out that playing an instrument burns 160 calories an hour and typing burns 120 calories an hour). Both of these facts are good news to me, since I've been playing my flute lately, practicing for my brother's wedding, and I type a lot. Anyway, there is a lot of other information in this book, and it's all really interesting and highly readable.
Boy, that public pool is long. That combined with the fact that I haven't swum in awhile made me feel like I might drown halfway through a lap.
The thing about the pool at my apartment complex is that it's good for one's self-esteem. It's not a very big pool, so I can do many laps without expending too much effort. I know that in a pool 25 yards long, 35 laps is a half-mile. I know that it takes me about 35 minutes to do 35 laps in such a pool. I can do about 63 laps in 35 minutes in my apartment complex pool, which sounds quite impressive.
It took me 20 minutes to do 12 laps in the public pool.
This is quite embarrassing, so I decided to deal with that by writing about it on the internet. In fairness, I'm not sure how long the public pool is. It's really, really, long though, honest!
I don't have any books on swimming specifically, but one of my favorite books on health in general is Eat, Drink, and be Merry by Dean Edell, MD (1999). It's about how Americans are in the best health and have the longest life spans in history, yet we worry more about our health than ever before. He wrote the book to try to quell some of our health-related anxieties. He discusses the media bias toward scare stories and how that makes us think that things are worse than they are regarding health threats. He says that perfect nutrition may not exist and in general, rather than "dieting," eat what you want, just eat less of it, vary your diet as much as possible, and add some vegetables. He also discussed some of the myths regarding exercise and notes that you can accrue most of the health benefits by only doing a moderate amount. (He also points out that playing an instrument burns 160 calories an hour and typing burns 120 calories an hour). Both of these facts are good news to me, since I've been playing my flute lately, practicing for my brother's wedding, and I type a lot. Anyway, there is a lot of other information in this book, and it's all really interesting and highly readable.
Book Review--The Kid, by Dan Savage
This is a great book. It is a true accounting of Dan and his boyfriend, Terry's, experiences in adopting a child. With great humor, Dan recounts how they arrived at the decision to do an open adoption, their fears that no birth mother would choose them, and their fears when one did (What if she changes her mind? What if we aren't good parents? etc.).
Dan and Terry had originally considered biological fatherhood for Dan, with one of several women they knew (a lesbian couple, a lesbian single, and a straight single woman). Essentially, negotiations fell through on each of these possibilities. So, Terry and Dan decided to try open adoption, a process where the birth mother chooses the adoptive parents and maintains contact after the baby is born.
Part of the process involves writing a "Dear Birthparent" letter to introduce themselves to prospective birth mothers. Dan had a lot of trouble writing this and ended up first writing a hilarious anti-Dear Birthparent letter--saying things that would ensure they never got picked, if they were to actually use it.
The birth mother who picked them was a 20-year-old street kid named Melissa. Dan and Terry faced a dilemma in that she had been drinking and using drugs, until she discovered she was pregnant. They weren't sure if they should take a chance and agree to accept a baby that might have FAS. However, the ultrasound showed normal fetal development, and a couple of doctors who were FAS experts were able to reassure them.
Dan Savage's recounting of their adoption experience is humorous, honest, reflective, and at times political. He shares his views on gay adoption and parenthood, as well as his and Terry's emotional ups and downs as they face the hopes and fears that all adoptive parents face, gay or straight. The book is highly readable, hilarious, yet intelligent and thought-provoking.
Dan and Terry had originally considered biological fatherhood for Dan, with one of several women they knew (a lesbian couple, a lesbian single, and a straight single woman). Essentially, negotiations fell through on each of these possibilities. So, Terry and Dan decided to try open adoption, a process where the birth mother chooses the adoptive parents and maintains contact after the baby is born.
Part of the process involves writing a "Dear Birthparent" letter to introduce themselves to prospective birth mothers. Dan had a lot of trouble writing this and ended up first writing a hilarious anti-Dear Birthparent letter--saying things that would ensure they never got picked, if they were to actually use it.
The birth mother who picked them was a 20-year-old street kid named Melissa. Dan and Terry faced a dilemma in that she had been drinking and using drugs, until she discovered she was pregnant. They weren't sure if they should take a chance and agree to accept a baby that might have FAS. However, the ultrasound showed normal fetal development, and a couple of doctors who were FAS experts were able to reassure them.
Dan Savage's recounting of their adoption experience is humorous, honest, reflective, and at times political. He shares his views on gay adoption and parenthood, as well as his and Terry's emotional ups and downs as they face the hopes and fears that all adoptive parents face, gay or straight. The book is highly readable, hilarious, yet intelligent and thought-provoking.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Book Review--Somebody Else's Kids, by Torey Hayden
Somebody Else's Kids was published in 1981. It is the story of Torey Hayden's experiences teaching a class that is essentially a self-contained special education class in the 1970s. The circumstances in which the class developed were rather strange. Torey was actually a resource room teacher initially, meaning that kids in the regular education classroom who needed extra help came to see her for a half hour or hour or so a day. She didn't have her own class. But, she ended up having four kids who just weren't able to manage the regular education setting placed with her for a full or half-day.
The first one to be placed with her for a half-day was Boo, an autistic kindergartner. The second was Lori, originally a resource room student. Lori and her twin had been adopted when they were five. The other twin had no problems in school, but Lori wasn't so lucky. She had been a severely abused child in her natural home, and had suffered brain damage as a result. She had had brain surgery to remove bone fragments from her brain, but lesions remained. As a result, she had epilepsy and ADHD-type symptoms. Furthermore, the brain damage had apparently interefered with the part of her brain that processed written symbols. Because of this, Lori had not been learning to read and write in her first-grade classroom, though she was very bright.
The third student to be placed in the class was Tomaso, an extremely angry boy who had witnessed his stepmother fatally shoot his father and older brother when he was five. By the age of 10, he had lived with an abusive uncle and been in more than seven foster homes. He had been placed in Torey's class after he had attempted to strangle a younger student on the playground.
Finally, and most bizarrely in terms of placement, was Claudia. Claudia was 12 years old and not a special education student. She was placed in Torey's class because she was pregnant. She had been kicked out of her private Catholic school, and apparently the school district wanted her to be placed in a setting where she wouldn't be noticed. She was placed in Torey's class for half a day and attended vocational and baby-care classes with high school students for the other half of the day.
All of the students made some impressive academic gains, but her influence, as with all teachers, went far beyond academics. She was one of Claudia's very few sources of emotional support. She helped Tomaso manage his anger appropriately and helped Lori cope with the frustration of her learning difficulties. Lori and Tomaso formed a special bond that was touching to see. That bond seemed to help Tomaso get in touch with his feelings beyond his anger. Boo started to speak beyond the mere echoing of other people's words and improved greatly in his ability to stay on task.
The recounting of Torey's time with this class is an amazing read. Each one of the characters will grab onto your heart and never let go.
The first one to be placed with her for a half-day was Boo, an autistic kindergartner. The second was Lori, originally a resource room student. Lori and her twin had been adopted when they were five. The other twin had no problems in school, but Lori wasn't so lucky. She had been a severely abused child in her natural home, and had suffered brain damage as a result. She had had brain surgery to remove bone fragments from her brain, but lesions remained. As a result, she had epilepsy and ADHD-type symptoms. Furthermore, the brain damage had apparently interefered with the part of her brain that processed written symbols. Because of this, Lori had not been learning to read and write in her first-grade classroom, though she was very bright.
The third student to be placed in the class was Tomaso, an extremely angry boy who had witnessed his stepmother fatally shoot his father and older brother when he was five. By the age of 10, he had lived with an abusive uncle and been in more than seven foster homes. He had been placed in Torey's class after he had attempted to strangle a younger student on the playground.
Finally, and most bizarrely in terms of placement, was Claudia. Claudia was 12 years old and not a special education student. She was placed in Torey's class because she was pregnant. She had been kicked out of her private Catholic school, and apparently the school district wanted her to be placed in a setting where she wouldn't be noticed. She was placed in Torey's class for half a day and attended vocational and baby-care classes with high school students for the other half of the day.
All of the students made some impressive academic gains, but her influence, as with all teachers, went far beyond academics. She was one of Claudia's very few sources of emotional support. She helped Tomaso manage his anger appropriately and helped Lori cope with the frustration of her learning difficulties. Lori and Tomaso formed a special bond that was touching to see. That bond seemed to help Tomaso get in touch with his feelings beyond his anger. Boo started to speak beyond the mere echoing of other people's words and improved greatly in his ability to stay on task.
The recounting of Torey's time with this class is an amazing read. Each one of the characters will grab onto your heart and never let go.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Movie Review--Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
I know; I usually don't do movie reviews. But, well, this one is a book also. I just happened to see the movie first, but I loved the movie and want to read the book as well.
The title--Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-- is rather bizarre. It's about four girls who have grown up together. When they are 16, they spend their first summer apart. Anyway, the book and movie are so-named because the girls share a pair of pants that summer. Each one keeps the pants for a week, then sends them to the next person. With the pants, they each send a letter telling the next person the most interesting thing that happened to them while wearing the pants. Interestingly, the pants fit all of the girls, even though they aren't all the same size. From this they conclude that the pants have some sort of magic associated with them.
Each of the girls has a life-altering summer. One of the girls, Lena, goes to Greece to stay with her grandparents. There she meets a guy she is crazy about, but her grandparents aren't crazy at all about the idea of her dating this guy. It's sort of a Romeo and Juliet thing (no suicide at the end, thank goodness); they don't like his family.
Bridget, who just recently lost her mother to suicide, goes to soccer camp in Mexico, where she pursues one of the coaches, which is of course against the rules. She gets more than she bargained for in this.
Carmen, who narrates at the beginning and end of the movie, goes to visit her father, who lives near Atlanta. Her father displays a stunning lack of senstivity in waiting until she is actually there to spring his new Stepford family on her--perfect, blond fiance, with her perfect blond son and daughter, all of whom are living with him. Carmen is supposed to be a bridesmaid in her father's wedding along with her soon-to-be stepsister, and is humiliated at the fitting for her bridesmaid's dress. Carmen is somewhat overweight, and her father was ever-so-slightly off in guessing her size. It's symbolic; Carmen feels like she doesn't fit into his life anymore.
Tibby stays at home and works at a Wal-Mart-type store, which of course she hates. There she meets and befriends a younger girl (well, more like the girl befriends her) who has a serious illness. At first, the girl seems like just an annoying pest to Tibby, but they become close and Tibby learns a lot from this girl, Bailey, who has a remarkable strength of spirit. (I was trying to remember where I had seen the actress who plays Tibby, Amber Tamblyn. I think she is Joan of Arcadia, actually).
The movie is really touching. It is a tearjerker in spots. Since I enjoyed the movie so much, I definitely want to read the book, and will report on how it compares to the movie in a later entry.
The title--Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-- is rather bizarre. It's about four girls who have grown up together. When they are 16, they spend their first summer apart. Anyway, the book and movie are so-named because the girls share a pair of pants that summer. Each one keeps the pants for a week, then sends them to the next person. With the pants, they each send a letter telling the next person the most interesting thing that happened to them while wearing the pants. Interestingly, the pants fit all of the girls, even though they aren't all the same size. From this they conclude that the pants have some sort of magic associated with them.
Each of the girls has a life-altering summer. One of the girls, Lena, goes to Greece to stay with her grandparents. There she meets a guy she is crazy about, but her grandparents aren't crazy at all about the idea of her dating this guy. It's sort of a Romeo and Juliet thing (no suicide at the end, thank goodness); they don't like his family.
Bridget, who just recently lost her mother to suicide, goes to soccer camp in Mexico, where she pursues one of the coaches, which is of course against the rules. She gets more than she bargained for in this.
Carmen, who narrates at the beginning and end of the movie, goes to visit her father, who lives near Atlanta. Her father displays a stunning lack of senstivity in waiting until she is actually there to spring his new Stepford family on her--perfect, blond fiance, with her perfect blond son and daughter, all of whom are living with him. Carmen is supposed to be a bridesmaid in her father's wedding along with her soon-to-be stepsister, and is humiliated at the fitting for her bridesmaid's dress. Carmen is somewhat overweight, and her father was ever-so-slightly off in guessing her size. It's symbolic; Carmen feels like she doesn't fit into his life anymore.
Tibby stays at home and works at a Wal-Mart-type store, which of course she hates. There she meets and befriends a younger girl (well, more like the girl befriends her) who has a serious illness. At first, the girl seems like just an annoying pest to Tibby, but they become close and Tibby learns a lot from this girl, Bailey, who has a remarkable strength of spirit. (I was trying to remember where I had seen the actress who plays Tibby, Amber Tamblyn. I think she is Joan of Arcadia, actually).
The movie is really touching. It is a tearjerker in spots. Since I enjoyed the movie so much, I definitely want to read the book, and will report on how it compares to the movie in a later entry.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Book Review--The Tiger's Child, by Torey Hayden
The Tiger's Child is the sequel to One Child. It was published in 1995, fourteen years after One Child. In the prologue, the author says that she was hesitant to write a sequel, simply because much of what was going on in Sheila's life since was rather grim. Torey changed her mind about writing a sequel in response to numerous queries from her readers, and also in response to Sheila, who overcame her abusive and deprived background to become a competent adult.
The first 40 pages of the book are a review of One Child. Torey wrote that book in eight days, never intending to publish it, but rather to better understand her relationship with Sheila. When she finished it, she realized that she had a book, and that she needed to find Sheila and let her read it.
Finding Sheila was not an easy task. Torey had lost contact with her five years previously, and had not seen her for seven. When Torey found her again, Sheila was thirteen. She was living with her father, but she had spent some time in foster care. It was strange for them both, to see each other again after so much time had passed. They both felt as though they knew each other well, but after so much time, they really were strangers. Furthermore, Sheila's memory of the experience and of Torey was not entirely positive. Torey had moved away at the end of the school year that Sheila had been in her class. Sheila had difficulty separating Torey's leaving from her mother's abandonment of her. At one point, she told Torey that she had actually made things worse for her, in that Sheila had not realized how bad her life was before being in Torey's class.
Personally, I think the problem was that Torey wasn't really in a position to do more. The problems in Sheila's life were simply too big to easily fix, and Sheila had little else in the way of support. She had a drug addicted, alcoholic father and a string of foster homes. There's only so much a teacher can do, no matter how much she cares. But when she found Sheila again, they had a chance to work through some of Sheila's issues and form a relationship again.
All of this does sound pretty grim, but the book does have a reasonably happy ending. Sheila does amazing well, especially considering everything she has been through. This book is able to include more of her point of view than the first book, since she is older, and it is interesting to see how she viewed things. This book is also an amazingly fast read, and hard to put down.
The first 40 pages of the book are a review of One Child. Torey wrote that book in eight days, never intending to publish it, but rather to better understand her relationship with Sheila. When she finished it, she realized that she had a book, and that she needed to find Sheila and let her read it.
Finding Sheila was not an easy task. Torey had lost contact with her five years previously, and had not seen her for seven. When Torey found her again, Sheila was thirteen. She was living with her father, but she had spent some time in foster care. It was strange for them both, to see each other again after so much time had passed. They both felt as though they knew each other well, but after so much time, they really were strangers. Furthermore, Sheila's memory of the experience and of Torey was not entirely positive. Torey had moved away at the end of the school year that Sheila had been in her class. Sheila had difficulty separating Torey's leaving from her mother's abandonment of her. At one point, she told Torey that she had actually made things worse for her, in that Sheila had not realized how bad her life was before being in Torey's class.
Personally, I think the problem was that Torey wasn't really in a position to do more. The problems in Sheila's life were simply too big to easily fix, and Sheila had little else in the way of support. She had a drug addicted, alcoholic father and a string of foster homes. There's only so much a teacher can do, no matter how much she cares. But when she found Sheila again, they had a chance to work through some of Sheila's issues and form a relationship again.
All of this does sound pretty grim, but the book does have a reasonably happy ending. Sheila does amazing well, especially considering everything she has been through. This book is able to include more of her point of view than the first book, since she is older, and it is interesting to see how she viewed things. This book is also an amazingly fast read, and hard to put down.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Book Reviews--One Child, by Torey Hayden
Well, I can't read fast enough to post book reviews as often as I'd like, and I only get random thoughts every so often. So, I am going to take this opportunity to review some old favorites.
Torey Hayden is one of my all-time favorite authors. I first became hooked on her books when I came across One Child in my college bookstore. All of her books are about her experiences as a special education teacher or a psychologist working with emotionally disturbed kids. I would classify her books as creative nonfiction; they're stories, not texts. The books of hers that I own are in tatters because I've read them so many times.
One Child was published in 1981. It is about a 6-year-old girl, Sheila, who suffered severe abuse and was abandoned on the highway by her mother. She lived with her father in a migrant camp, in a shack with no running water or electricity. Torey Hayden was a special education teacher teaching a self-contained class for emotionally disturbed children. Sheila ended up in her class after she burned a younger child. The plan was for Sheila to go into the children's unit at the state mental hospital as soon as there was room for her. In the meantime, she was placed in Torey's class.
One Child is about the bond between the student and teacher. Sheila had never really been able to bond with any adult before. They either mistreated her or were put off by her bad behavior before they could even really try to form a bond. Her behavior was horrible at first. On her first day in Torey's classroom, she killed several fishes in the aquarium in the classroom and poked their eyes out, just to give one example. But once she formed a bond with Torey, her behavior greatly improved, and school staff also discovered she had a genius IQ.
The book really had a profound effect on me. Seeing the change in Sheila over the period of time she was in Torey's class was just amazing. The book is a very fast read, due to both the writing style and the fascinating subject matter. I remember talking to my college roommate about it constantly the first time I read it.
One thing about this book that was difficult for many who read it was that it gives very few details on what happened to Sheila after her time in Torey's class. So, several years later, a sequel was published. In the prologue, the author mentions how many readers had written to her to ask what had happened to Sheila. The sequel was also quite fascinating and surprising in some ways. I will review the sequel in a later entry.
Torey Hayden is one of my all-time favorite authors. I first became hooked on her books when I came across One Child in my college bookstore. All of her books are about her experiences as a special education teacher or a psychologist working with emotionally disturbed kids. I would classify her books as creative nonfiction; they're stories, not texts. The books of hers that I own are in tatters because I've read them so many times.
One Child was published in 1981. It is about a 6-year-old girl, Sheila, who suffered severe abuse and was abandoned on the highway by her mother. She lived with her father in a migrant camp, in a shack with no running water or electricity. Torey Hayden was a special education teacher teaching a self-contained class for emotionally disturbed children. Sheila ended up in her class after she burned a younger child. The plan was for Sheila to go into the children's unit at the state mental hospital as soon as there was room for her. In the meantime, she was placed in Torey's class.
One Child is about the bond between the student and teacher. Sheila had never really been able to bond with any adult before. They either mistreated her or were put off by her bad behavior before they could even really try to form a bond. Her behavior was horrible at first. On her first day in Torey's classroom, she killed several fishes in the aquarium in the classroom and poked their eyes out, just to give one example. But once she formed a bond with Torey, her behavior greatly improved, and school staff also discovered she had a genius IQ.
The book really had a profound effect on me. Seeing the change in Sheila over the period of time she was in Torey's class was just amazing. The book is a very fast read, due to both the writing style and the fascinating subject matter. I remember talking to my college roommate about it constantly the first time I read it.
One thing about this book that was difficult for many who read it was that it gives very few details on what happened to Sheila after her time in Torey's class. So, several years later, a sequel was published. In the prologue, the author mentions how many readers had written to her to ask what had happened to Sheila. The sequel was also quite fascinating and surprising in some ways. I will review the sequel in a later entry.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Random Thought #6: Things That Should Never Be Said
I was paying for my lunch at a buffet today. I had the exact change out for one adult, but for some reason or another the cashier felt compelled to ask me, "You're not a senior, are you?"
I just gaped at her. Could she possibly mean senior citizen?
"I'm thirty-four," I said, my tone probably not being as pleasant as it could be.
"Well, I didn't think so," she said, or something to that effect.
"I hope I don't look that old," I said. If anything, people usually think I look younger than I am.
"No, it's just. . .there's another woman who comes in here who kind of looks like you, only she is a senior," the cashier says. "I got the two of you confused."
This didn't exactly make me feel better. Maybe what she was trying to say was that this woman didn't look old enough to get the senior discount, either. The cashier is also young enough that she probably thinks everyone over 25 is old. But still.
To my way of thinking, in that kind of situation, if it's not obvious, the cashier should wait for the customer to tell her. Then the cashier can say, "Oh, sorry, I just thought you looked way too young to qualify for the senior discount," and everyone is happy. The way the cashier I encountered did it, no one is happy. She feels stupid; I feel old. Well, I don't exactly feel old. I feel that maybe people are thinking I look old, even though I really don't have any wrinkles (honest!) and still have to use facial cleanser that cuts down on oil. I pull out the occasional stray gray hair.
It's kind of like asking someone if she is pregnant. If she's not, you've basically just called her fat. This happened to me once when I was about 15 pounds heavier than I am now and wearing a dress that didn't really help the situation. Only the person who asked me if "I was going to have my baby soon" wouldn't let it go.
"I really thought you were going to have a baby," she kept saying. It was almost as if she thought maybe I was unaware that I was pregnant, and would end up giving birth on the toilet or something.
"Trust me," I said through gritted teeth.
I stopped wearing that dress after that. Clearly it failed to do me justice.
The things I've said aren't things that everyone hasn't heard before. But clearly, the message bears repeating.
I just gaped at her. Could she possibly mean senior citizen?
"I'm thirty-four," I said, my tone probably not being as pleasant as it could be.
"Well, I didn't think so," she said, or something to that effect.
"I hope I don't look that old," I said. If anything, people usually think I look younger than I am.
"No, it's just. . .there's another woman who comes in here who kind of looks like you, only she is a senior," the cashier says. "I got the two of you confused."
This didn't exactly make me feel better. Maybe what she was trying to say was that this woman didn't look old enough to get the senior discount, either. The cashier is also young enough that she probably thinks everyone over 25 is old. But still.
To my way of thinking, in that kind of situation, if it's not obvious, the cashier should wait for the customer to tell her. Then the cashier can say, "Oh, sorry, I just thought you looked way too young to qualify for the senior discount," and everyone is happy. The way the cashier I encountered did it, no one is happy. She feels stupid; I feel old. Well, I don't exactly feel old. I feel that maybe people are thinking I look old, even though I really don't have any wrinkles (honest!) and still have to use facial cleanser that cuts down on oil. I pull out the occasional stray gray hair.
It's kind of like asking someone if she is pregnant. If she's not, you've basically just called her fat. This happened to me once when I was about 15 pounds heavier than I am now and wearing a dress that didn't really help the situation. Only the person who asked me if "I was going to have my baby soon" wouldn't let it go.
"I really thought you were going to have a baby," she kept saying. It was almost as if she thought maybe I was unaware that I was pregnant, and would end up giving birth on the toilet or something.
"Trust me," I said through gritted teeth.
I stopped wearing that dress after that. Clearly it failed to do me justice.
The things I've said aren't things that everyone hasn't heard before. But clearly, the message bears repeating.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Book Review--Lost, by Joy Fielding
Joy Fielding is another one of my favorite authors. Lost came out in paperback in January 2005. It is about a mother, Cindy, whose 21-year-old daughter, Julia, goes missing. Cindy had already felt that she lost her daughter when Julia moved in her father after the divorce seven years previously. When Julia's father remarried, Julia moved back home with her mother, sister, and sister's boyfriend. An aspiring actress, Julia had been living with her mother again for about a year when she failed to return home after an audition. In the search for her daughter, Cindy realizes how little she really knows about her. Several people in her daughter's life raise red flags--Julia's ex-boyfriend, who wrote a story about a man who brutally murders his ex-girlfriend; their next-door neighbor, who may be having an affair with Julia; even the director for whom she auditioned and her sister's boyfriend, with whom Julia had had an argument the morning she was last seen. Cindy learns disturbing truths about who her daughter really is.
This book is really enjoyable. It's a fast-paced thriller with a twist at the end. Joy Fielding is really good at that; after finishing some books by her I am just stunned for days afterwards by an unexpected twist.
This book is really enjoyable. It's a fast-paced thriller with a twist at the end. Joy Fielding is really good at that; after finishing some books by her I am just stunned for days afterwards by an unexpected twist.
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